Fall Soup Recipe

Well it's been a while since I blogged, I for the most part had little to nothing I thought was worth writing. I recently started journaling, and it's super personal and therapeutic for me. I've been looking into Journal prompts and that's really where the therapeutic aspect comes into play, and I can dive into that further perhaps in another post. While I was searching for a prompt that might interest me this evening, I came across BLOG prompts, specific to October. I kind of liked some of these ideas, and thought to myself challenge accepted. While I have no intention of doing all of these, there are some I like the idea of.

So that's my introduction to that, what I'm sharing today is from a prompt that said share a "Fall soup recipe". This is perfect, because in the beginning of October, we start our "Souper Sundays" in my house. I make a big pot of soup and we eat, a lot of soup over the next couple days. Any guesses what kind of soup I made yesterday? I decided to share a slightly different version of what my cousins and I affectionately refer to as "Nanny soup".

Growing up, there was a super simple soup my Nanny made for us regularly, so not even necessarily JUST in the Fall. It's a recipe I've tweaked slightly, but it's still a soup, I just throw everything in the pot and make, and where the description is so not helpful for describing what kind of soup it is, it's a beef vegetable soup.

Ingredients:
1lb beef, any cut really works
Large Onion
1 Can of vegetable soup
Carrots
Parsnip
Corn
2 boxes of beef broth

Brown up the beef in large pot, and add the onion, fry for a few min
At this point you add the rest of the ingredients to the pot and bring to a boil. Once the carrots and parsnips are soft, you're set.

Nanny would use onion soup mix in place of the beef broth, and would also add a can of tomato soup, and we'd go gaga for it. She also told us that parsnips are what gives it it's flavor. So this is the big "secret" Nanny soup. I've made it already this year, and will likely make it again. Enjoy

Smiling at the Mirror

     I smiled at the mirror today. I took a pic of Hubs and I. I didn't try and avoid seeing myself in the mirror, or put away my phone. I was happy with what I saw, and wanted to capture it. Seems like a weird thing to say, but 2 months ago, that's what I was doing.


    In the last 2 months, hubs and I have made some changes. We're going to the gym, regularly, and eating better. I'm taking more time to just love my dog, and treating the TV as more like background noise. I pick up my computer rarely, and am more aware of things I can do to improve my day to day life.

   The last while, I haven't been giving myself the care that I needed. And this was something bugging me. Same could be said for my husband. So we decided to do something about it. The healthy improvements we've made, in my opinion anyway, have not just been healthier physically, but mentally and emotionally.

    We visited with my family over the weekend, and we hadn't do that in a while, that made me feel better.

   So I'm doing better, and wanted to share this. I smiled at the mirror, and took the picture, not necessarily because I can SEE improvement, but because I can feel it.

How Fall has Made Me More Self Aware Of Wasting

     Something people may or may not know about me is I'm a planner, I LOVE planning. And making lists, I love putting a pin to a fresh piece of paper and mapping out a plan. The downside to this is sometimes I can fail to live in the now, because I'm planning for tomorrow. Last year this time, I was in full blown fall mode. Perhaps it's because we had such a long Winter, but I've been finding myself REALLY trying to enjoy the summer this year. But when days like today roll around, overcast, and needing to chuck on a hoodie, well this is when my mind wanders to Fall, or even my FAVORITE time of year, that I won't mention, because some people may get mad at me.  Really people may get mad at me for talking about  Fall, but whatever.


     One major thing I've been doing (because I'm addicted top Pinterest), is pinning outfit inspirations for the season. What is interesting about how I'm doing it this year VS other years, is I'm being realistic. I'm SO guilty of seeing clothes that I think are cute, or pretty and buying them, only to have them hang in my closet...why? They're not my style. People close to me, very well may be shocked to learn, I own about 6-7 dresses and skirts...yup, because I thought they were pretty, and bought them, but feel weird wearing them unless it's for something special. Nope, my look can be broken down to a formula. Step 1, Jeans...these are the foundation of my wardrobe, If I'm not wearing jeans, mark it on the calendar, because it is a rare occurrence. A top to go with the jeans. If they're skinny, generally longer, or the rarer occurrence flowy. Bootcut usually brings about a basic T-shirt or tank. And Finally an over piece. If I'm actually wearing it or not, I've got one with me. It could be a shirt (generally plaid), a cardigan, or my trusty ole hoodies. Then it's accessories and shoes, which is generally, what's easy and looks decent... this is my look. I have accepted and FINALLY understand this.


     SO why am I taking the time to tell people about this? Because there is NO way I'm the only one who does this. wastes money, and closet space buying the pretty stuff for it to just sit there. I guess I'm posting this because I've become more self aware this way, and I think it was for the good. Perhaps this post might help some one else be aware too.

thanks for reading

Quite Possibly my Favorite Facial Product for the Summer

     I'm pretty sure that I've said in previous posts, when it comes to skin care, I try and listen to my skin. I find I've sort of gotten the hang of things when it comes to my skin, and it's helped me A LOT.

    I have shared my skin care routine in previous posts, and I'd love to tell you, I stick to it religiously. Not the case. To keep ANY consistency, I actually have reminders on my phone, that my husband actually hates with a passion, because my phone is usually closer to him, and I don't hear it, and it drives him INSANE, but...that's what I do, and I'm quite unapologetic to him about the alarms might I add.

    My skin is actually relatively clear right now, I'm quite pleased..just a couple mall blemishes on my forehead...as some one with bangs who doesn't wash their hair everyday, I actually think this is fantastic. We're at a time of year I kind of need to keep an eye on my skin though. While the greatest contributing factor to blocked pores is actually dead skin cells (so basically dust) lets factor in, we're sweating and stuff more this time of year. Sweating is good for the skin, but can also contribute to blocking those pores.

    Last week I was noticing a cluster of small pimples on my nose... which is odd for me. So I knew I needed to get deep in the pores. In previous posts I've mentioned, Now European Clay powder. This has become a bestie for me in the last month or so. When I saw this little cluster, I used the mask. I've read some descriptions recommend using oil, essential oils, apple cider vinegar, honey etc. I'm boring I guess because I just go with water. I'm not sure I'd recommend it for those with dry skin, and here's why. I can actually feel as it dries my skin tightening, and it getting deep down in my face.  

     My cluster has since disappeared. I wanted to give this product a special post. I' did purchase it for the first time in the Winter, at the Feel Good Store (I know you're shocked right) and I liked it then, but I've come to LOVE this product for the benefits I'm seeing now that it's gotten warmer, and upped my usage to minimum twice a week. After I get it off with warm water and a cloth I follow it up with my Apple cider vinegar/water toner, and use Grape seed oil to moisturize.

Thanks for reading

Very Basic Drugstore Makeup kit

     Ever since I did my blog post the other day about  my Holy Grail Makeup products, I've had another makeup themed post that I've been itching to do. I think I put on the post twice that while my makeup bag included typically higher end products...because apparently that's where my head is at with my makeup choices,, there are some really good drugstore products out there. So I decided to do a post where I would put together a very basic makeup kit that would be strictly drugstore products. could potentially be considered a starter pack even. I'll exclude tools, primers, contouring etc, this will be as basic, and kind of a natural every day look. So let's get started.

     I honestly haven't used a drugstore liquid foundation in a very long time. I've used powder or BB cream. But if you were just starting to use makeup, I would think you'd want to go lighter weight, so I'll stick with BB. I'm also going with liquid, simply because it's my formulation of choice.

    The BB I would pick would be the Maybelline Dream Fresh. It was the first bb cream I ever uesd and as far as drugstore BB's go, still my favorite. I tried the garnier, because once upon a time, it was supposed to be the best, and I hated it. The Maybelline retails for about $9.

     One of the biggest mistakes new makeup users make (myself included) is piling on foundation because it needs to cover imperfections... while a full coverage foundation COULD do the job, concealing, is a job for a concealer. AND there are a tone out there, and some do very different jobs. But I chose one that can cover most of your issues, and it's one of my favorite drugstore products of all time, Covergirl Smoother. It gives you coverage, you can heat it up with your fingers and it blends nicely. It's a fantastic product and costs $6 roughly

      After using these products, you'd want to use a setting powder, or odds are they'll just slide around on your skin. This is a product I've used for years and I keep in my makeup bag, not to mention it lasts forever. Physicians Formula Mineral Wear Talc-Free Mineral Face Powder. It's about $20.

     As far as blush goes, Physicians Formula wins me again. This is my favorite blush I've ever used, and Physicians Formula is a line that has some pretty good ingredients, so this bodes well for me as well. This one retails for roughly $15.50.

     Every fiber of my body wants me to get into eye shadow, liner, and eyebrow pencils, but because I'm going super basic, as far as eyes go, I'll only introduce you to  mascara, because all 3 of these products require using the proper method to not be obvious that you're wearing them, and if you're just going for a super natural (not supernatural) look, mascara is really all your eyes need for a little bit more polished look. I actually bought this about 2 months ago, because I was doing makeup for a friend's wedding and wanted it as an alternative choice for her makeup. What's more is the shelf life of mascara is 3-6 months.. so the fact that this product is only $7, and btw is often at checkouts with impulse buy products is amazing, and potentially one of the best impulse buys you'd ever make. I'm talking about L'oreal Voluminous. If ever I ran out of my mascara I use and didn't have any on hand... I'd buy this stuff. PS if you're like me and your eyelashes do not hold a curl, the waterproof formula may be your very best friend.

     I have yet to find a red lipstick that I like on myself. Not sure if it's because I tried wearing it when I was a kid and my my grandmother told me I looked like I ate a man, or if it's because I tend to prefer a slightly bolder eye look, and bold lips with bold eyes are...well...too bold. I tend to be more of a fan of natural looking lip colours, as such I love, and have on my person right now, Burt's Bees tinted lip balm. goes on more like chapstick but gives you a pop of colour, and retails for about $7 

    So that's a Starter/Drugstore/Everyday makeup kit, that equals out to roughly $65...which is actually blowing me away right now. I will stress, these are the products I like, makeup isn't one size fits all, these are just some products I've used, and like, there may be better ones out there, and it's even possible the formulation has changed on a few of them and they're not what they used to be, but were I on a shoestring budget and starting from scratch. These are the products I would buy. Thanks so much for reading. 

   

Products in my Makeup bag that Replace Themselves

     Much like my skin care products, I like to try new products when it comes to my makeup. So it takes quite a bit for me to repurchase a product, and say I will 100% stick with it. BUT there are a few in my makeup bag, and they're all products I tried in the last year, and I'm just addicted to, and wanted to share them. 

    Before I get into the ones I will 100% stick with, I'd like to mention 2 products that are likely products I would repurchase, but am not 100% addicted to. 

First we have Urban Decay's Priming potion. It's an eye primer, and I purchased the anti-aging formula. This is a super popular product, and has a fantastic reputation. I can honestly say it's the best eye primer I've ever used in my life. It holds my product on, and most of all, doesn't crease. The ONLY reason this product didn't make the cut, is because I'm trying a new primer soon that is for both the face and eyes. I love double duty products. I could go back to this depending on the outcome, time will tell. 

The second honorable mention is Pacifica's Enlightened Natural lip gloss in poppy. when I was a teenager, I tried a lip gloss that was 100% the perfect colour for me, and then it got discontinued. I saw this in the store, and had something that I wanted a glossy finish for my lips. Completely different line, but this was the same colour as the long lost gloss. So the reality is I will likely repurchase this product, however, I'm not a huge lip gloss wearer anymore. 

# 1) The first product I will forever repurchase is Nars Radiant creamy concealer. I remember when I first was introduced to concealer, and fell in love... and there ARE good concealers you can buy on the cheap, but THIS is the best concealer I've ever used in my life. The product has a great reputation and basically that's why I decided to give it a shot. I love the coverage, I love how it blends. I originally purchased a colour too dark for me, but with blending, I made it work. to apply it, I use the wand, and to blend I use a knock-off Beauty blender, and it does the job perfectly. In love with this product and I'll never stray. 

# 2) Couldn't begin to tell you how many different mascaras I've tried over the years, and again I will stress, you can get good mascara on the cheap. But I tried this mascara and haven't looked back. This is Younique's 3d fiber lashes and it's spectacular. A friend of mine sells Younique products, and it's a friend I've been friends with since I was 5, so when I got wind of this product, and asked her about it and she absolutely gushed about it, I decided to give it a shot. And now here I sit gushing. My lashes are short, ad straight... and this product covers my main concerns. As a fiber mascara, is gives you unreal length. We're talking people swear your lashes are fake lashes. It also holds, well. I curl my lashes, with a hot eyelash curler. I get this beautiful curl and couple hours later, it's gone. This product makes my lashes hold it's shape, so I look awake and don't get raccoon eyes.  

# 3) The final product on this list, I purchased in a sample size in hopes of making my friend's makeup stay basically GLUED to her face for her wedding day... Mission accomplished. This is Urban Decay's All Nighter setting spray. I ADORE this product, I don't know about you, but I kind of hate having to touch-up my makeup during the day... I don't have time for that, I want it on in the morning, and that's it...done. Well this makes it so. It's summer, and guess what, we're gonna sweat ( I know, charming). So instead of having your makeup melt off... no, I DID describe it as glued to your face for a reason.

      These are my Holy Grail Products, hope they were helpful. What are your Holy Grail Products?

A Rant

     I'm actually QUITE good at ranting, it's in my blood. No really, some of my family members are some of the finest ranters to walk the planet. I'm good at it genetically, really! Today something happened while I was on my way into work and I've been thinking on it a while now. I'll be completely upfront, I got my license in October, so I'm still a new driver. I took drivers ed, which is quite honestly the ONLY reason I am a confident driver (not without fault, but confident). One thing that our instructor tried to enforce with us was not to be afraid to use our horns.

     Considering I've been driving for a few short months, I've been a passenger a long time, and it really seems to be a legitimate fear with drivers. I can honestly say, most people I've driven with don't use their horn... and I've been in 3 accidents as a passenger... there was no horn.

     People actually misuse the horn. They honk to say hi, or like I've shared in a previous rant, to sexually harass some one, or because you're pissed off. When really the horn is to get the attention of another driver, to avoid an accident. why would people AVOID honking for that purpose? Is it because you've been honked at and gotten angry and shouted, "I see you"?! Do you feel like the sound is loud and rude? Not quite sure where that puts me, because I use it...often. Part of our training was to be prepared to use the horn (it is still fresh in my head).

    So all ranting aside, I did something today, that is supposed to be a major no no when it comes to being a passenger in the car. So we were at a green light waiting to turn left, and were second in line to do so. The car in front of us was a big truck that pulled out into the intersection... when a large group of grads (Or a choir... they were wearing gowns) decided they were going to jaywalk (a rant for another time) when he was clear to turn. So the light turns red, and Mr. Truck decided to back up instead of turn. My husband looks to see if he can reverse... nope, no room... guy is still backing up. It happened pretty fast, I shouted honk the horn because buddy was getting close... and then i did the no no.... I leaned over and honked the horn... the guy stopped, VERY close to my car.

    I felt AWFUL about honking the horn... and my husband so no, I did good, because he wasn't going to.

   I guess I just don't understand why people as a whole are so against using their horns...

Skin care= Self care

     Exceptionally pleased to inform, the routine from previous posts is still working for me. I really have nothing to talk about as far as altering my ACTUAL skin routine goes. However there have been some recent tweaks to things I do in my day to day life, that I THINK might be helping my skin along.


     I'm only going to share one of these things today simply because I'm not sure I've been doing the other things long enough to share them.


     So each night when I get home from work, I either shower, or take a bath. I don't wash my hair every night, and will actually go as long as I can without washing it. If you're here to judge, let me tell you, EVERY hair dresser I've ever met has told me I have incredibly thick and healthy hair, and they attribute it to the fact I'm not stripping my hair of it's natural oils on a daily basis. I also don't get split ends as fast, and as a result, don't need my hair trimmed as much.

   But I digress. The point of this post is actually to explain how my baths have helped. 1 thing I try and remember to do regularly, weather I'm in the shower, or in the bath, is oil pulling. If you're not familiar with this, you take about a tablespoon of coconut oil, let it melt in your mouth and slosh it around for about 20 min or more. Some people do this INSTEAD of brushing their teeth... I'm not one of these people, I do it in combination. Now I have noticed a slight difference in my skin as a result of this, but the real results are in my teeth. they're stronger and whiter as a result. If you plan on trying this out, I'll mention one thing, when you're done spit out the oil in the garbage. Don't swallow, because you just used this to pull gunk out of your mouth, and don't spit down the drain because coconut oil will harden and clog your drain up. I follow this with brushing my teeth normally. I do this as I bathe because my husband informed me, my sloshing around the oil is the grossest thing he's ever heard.

     The other thing I've been doing is strictly on bath nights and I give credit to Anne from the Feel Good store for this one. She mentioned Salt baths. I'd done these once in a while in the past, but they've become a once to twice a week thing now. I probably should measure out how much I use, but in all honesty, I don't... I just pour some in while the water is running. I make the water hot, just cool enough for me to stand, do my thing, and try and stay in for 20 min or more. I actually buy my bath salt from the Feel Good store...so was it an attempt to boost sales? LOL doesn't sound like her style, but BIG thanks to Anne for mentioning that in passing :)

    I don't do these things specifically for my skin care routine, but more so for my self care routine, it just seems to benefit multiple aspects.

My relationship with Makeup

     I've kind of been dying to do a post about makeup. While I really don't wear it everyday it's not because I don't like it, or anything. When i skip makeup, it's generally because I feel I have to rush putting it on. I just do not function well when I'm rushing, i don much better if I take my time on most projects...and it also a major part of why I'm usually early for everything... I hate being rushed. And while the reality is, I'm generally not rushed, because I actually DO  go pretty quick with my makeup, I get it in my head I have to go fast...and it's a bad time. I actually feel more focused and productive when I have it on, because I'm less self-conscious. I do think I'm quite good at makeup, by no means a professional, but have been the go-to makeup person on occasion for people I'm close with. I've actually run into one of my friends in a store one time and she asked about a product she was buying. 

    I wasn't ALWAYS confident with my makeup application. I was raised by my dad, so his makeup knowledge was lacking. The women in my family aren't big makeup wearers. I cringe thinking of what I left the house looking like in college... I recall hating my skin some days (oh wait, doesn't that still happen), and just wanting a full coverage makeup to hide behind... and I found that mousse foundation I think maybeline released. Now I THINK that the company has tweeked the formula of the product, but when it FIRST came out, the product was horrific... I may as well have put on a clay mask and leave the house...actually that would have been preferable, at least that wouldn't have suffocated my skin. To make matters worse, I wasn't familiar with concealer, so in my head, if I could still see blemishes, I needed more, let that sink in. Add this to me thinking that my eyeliner needed to resemble that of Chrisitna Aguliara in hr dirty video, and  me thinking great lash is ACTUALLY a good mascara, and didn't own an eyelash curler... not a pretty picture. 

     It was after college I decided I wanted to wear makeup and I wanted to do it properly, and at this point Youtube was mainstream (because it wasn't when I was in college, funny videos came from Ebaums world). I discovered this girl who have about a dozen tutorials, but I liked what she did. So I subscribed to her channel and tried out all of these different techniques, watched her reviews and LEARNED to use makeup! Oh and this girl on youtube is probably the most famous makeup tutorial youtuber there is, AND the woman who created ipsy, Michelle Phan. (seriously though, if you look at some of her early videos, they're basic, and to be honest she looks so different). 

    If I do say so myself, I'm pretty good at makeup now. Like I've confessed with some of my skin care posts, I REALLY like trying new products. So I've tried a TON of different products over the years, in different formulations, with different application methods. I tend to try something new every time I repurchase but there ARE a few products I'll stick with until I'm dead or until they get discontinued. So this is my introduction I guess, I'd like to make monday all about makeup. Thanks for reading! 

I'm So Proud of My Dog

      If you know me, or have read my blog in the past, you know I have a dog, and ADORE her. Part of me tends to be a little discouraged about writing about her all the time, but whatever... I've writen about skin treatments WAY more... and screw you it's my blog lol. Also there hasn't been an Alice blog since April... I'm overdue.

    I want to link that old post too, simply because maybe you'll see why I'm so excited for her today. Check that out here . When I wrote that blog, I was in a much better place than I was originally with her social issues. Because there are 3 years of Alice's life we know nothing about, we don't know why she has social issues... but, this is the hand we were dealt. When she met my in-law's dog Riley, who by the way is a Shihtzu, she may have mistaken him for her bear...? maybe...? I was crushed by this, and the worst part was, she knew it...

    Fast forward 8 months. Let's remember Alice was in a situation where she was very unsure about everything, including my husband and I. She liked us, but still wasn't sure if she could tryst us or rely on us...and I REALLY don't think that's the case anymore... about a month or two ago it was like a switch was flipped. Alice was always happy to be with us, and liked us, but it seemed like we suddenly became the center of her universe. If you have a dog,I assume you know what I mean when I say, there is a bond, and a connection there now, that wasn't there before.It just clicked. She knows we're a family now I think. Aside from the way she is with us, she's been different with others too. When we have her out, she's much better with strangers. She doesn't really seem to have an issue with women anymore, still not sure about men... unless she's in a place she feels safe. 

   But HERE is why I'm excited for her today. I'm too proud, really. We were at the vet for a quick checkup, and there was another dog in the waiting room. This would have been a major issue in the past, but we decided to take her in and just sit further away from the other dog. Well she pulled, but when told sat down, and sat on a loose leash. This is HUGE for my dog, and not something I would have dreamed could be possible even just a couple months ago. I'd kind of like to go back and tell discouraged me from the Fall, guess what' we're doing better already! Let me stress, I can't even for a second take ALL the credit for this. First off, my husband has been a united front when it comes to Alice. I'm not sure she would have gotten to where she is without the consistency she's had. Also Alice has gone through 2 training classes at ABC training, and had some special attention from Bev, and Caroline as well. If you're looking to work with your dog, I DEFINITELY recommend them, check out their FB here. 

So this is ACTUALLY Working For me Pt.3 (Special Treatments)

    Now that we've covered my basic skin care routine that IS working FINALLY, this post is about the little extras I do. Basically I listen to my skin. I touched on this briefly in my second post (PS here is part 1 & 2) on how I listen to my skin, (like really brief, you may need to go back and read to even know what I mean).

   So the only product I would use both morning and evening is my serum. If I need a little extra moisture, I use this AND if I think I need a little something more on my skin. Serum is supposed to nourish and give your skin a little kick of added moisture. Using as much oil as I do, I don't always need it, because some people actually use grape seed oil as a serum.

   I'm, still using the Sibu serum, and I have no complaints. However, I'm a person who enjoys trying out new products... there are very few items in my cosmetic bag that I will not replace and this isn't one of them. When I get to the bottom of this, I'll likely go with a vitamin C serum.

   As far as added moisture goes if I STILL need more, it's only ever at night and I go to this night cream I've used for a while, the Andalou Heavenly night cream. Again, like this product, and actually like it more than the serum, still will likely try a new one next time.

     I think it's safe to say most people know that one of the reasons people get pimples is clogged pores. Something I learned during my research, and there has been a LOT, is when you have a pimple caused by clogged pores, nine times out of ten the blockage is dead skin cells. THIS is why exfoliating is important, NOT just in the Winter. I'm no dermatologist, but this is stuff I've learned. As a result I have 2 products I use for this, and this isn't a "listen to my skin" thing, I have scheduled nights I do these.  Weekends I do a Mask. I've been using, and will likely repurchase soon,  the Now French Green Clay powder. I've heard people say add this to honey, oil and water, which is the one I use. I feel like this goes deep into my pores and just hauls out the gunk. I usually have to tone, use oil, serum and sometimes night cream after this, but it does the job. Wednesday nights, after my makeup is off, I use some more oil, be it grape seed, apricot, or jojoba oil (whichever one I feel like) and a couple dashes of my Rocky Mountain Vanilla Coconut face polish. I gently massage it in, and continue my routine. I bought BOTH of these products at the Feel Good Store.

    My next skin concern product is for the fine lines. I want to say when I bought this product, I checked the local stores and couldn't find it... I may be wrong...none the less I bought this at Superstore, and I use Rose hip oil. I put this on RIGHT after I remove the honey when it's still damp. I have a rather animated face, and did some damage to my face over the years. Now I've heard that Rosehip oil is good for scars... if this is the case I should be using it more on my acne scars...but my primary use is for fine lines, because it's heavy in vitamin A. Another name for "vitamin a" is retinol... and by now most of us have heard how great reinol is for fine lines. I do NOT recommend using this every day tough, because retinol is also drying. 

Beyond this, my skin concern is acne... and has been for a while. The product I have used for years is tea tree oil. THIS or toothpaste... which is only a natural product if you use natural toothpaste, but toothpaste has always worked for me for drying out a pimple, while Tea tree oil fights the bacteria. 

 In the past I've tried to use natural makeup as well. Unfortunately the reality of natural makeup unfortunately is that it either doesn't do the job, or costs too much. I think that about 50% of my products I use are natural (guessing off the top of my head). When it comes to these products, I generally research the CRAP out of a product and the company. One "conventional" makeup and cosmetic lines I've liked EVERYTHING I've used from it is Clinique. I was in Sephora last week and like they usually do, they threw in a sample product, and it was the Acne Solutions clinical clearing gel. My experience with Clinique is that it's gentle, and for that reason, I tried this product, and it worked for me, better than the tea tree oil... I got this product last week so I'm not committing to it here, but I will continue to use my sample. Anyway, that's it, and here are the results of my new routine, I'm really happy with it. Not to say it's a perfect fit for you, because everyone is different, but after a month, I'm quite pleased. 

So this is ACTUALLY Working For me Pt. 2 (Day)

    So this is the second part of my blog about my skin care routine ACTUALLY working. I've been experimenting with THIS routine for about a month and am REALLY happy with the results. If you're just clicking on this link directly, this is part one, if you'd like to check out part 1, click here .

   This is my morning routine, and I DID say in my previous post part of my issue was over cleansing, and using too many products stripping my skin. My night time routine is oils, and products you might have in your kitchen. This portion of my skin care routine DOES have actual products.

   Depending on the morning, I may or may not wash my face. If I don't feel the need, I'll splash cold water on, and that's the end of cleansing for me. If I feel like I need to cleanse it, I've used Pacifica's Sea Foam Complete Face Wash I purchased at the Corn Crib. I've been using Juice Beauty's products, and still really like them, but they stopped working for me (I'm guessing my skin built up immunity).

I've only ever heard good things about this product, it's gentle and $10 cheaper than Juice Beauty, not to mention, I'm able to buy locally. I use this in the shower too, so it's quick and easy, but as a result, toning isn't such a concern for me. I'm more concerned about restoring my skin's moisture at this point, because a warm shower can be drying. So I immediately us the same products I've been talking about in part 1, grape seed oil and apricot, for the exact same purposes in part 1.

 

    Quick blip on why I use Grape seed oil for the day SPECIFICALLY over some other oils. It has a higher burn point. Some oils like Olive oil, have a low burn point. Something about a low burn point oil on my face being exposed to light or heat, just doesn't sound like a great idea to me... for some reason... grape seed oil is quite the opposite, it actually has spf... but a low level.

     As a result I top it all off with this product right here. Kimberly Sayer  Moisturizer with SPF 30. This is for combination skin, and I think it's actually a line out of the UK, I got it off amazon, and it was a good deal, but it's rare to find such a good deal, and may choose a different route when I run out... which is still a ways away because this tube lasts a while .




   At night I kind of grab whatever lip balm is on hand, I use SPF during the day. I'll add, I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE Lip balm with SPF, because if you get it in your mouth at all, it tastes awful. This one is really not too bad for that. It's from the Rocky Mountain Soap factory (a line I've only ever had good experiences with), and I got it at the Feel Good Store.

   So that's that, 5 products this time, but still pretty basic, and has been working. Thanks for reading!

  

So this is ACTUALLY Working For me Pt. 1 (Night)

    Been WAY too long since I did a blog post. I took a break out of frustration. I know SEVERAL posts consisted of experimenting with my skin care routine. However my rises and falls in this instance has resulting in me feeling discouraged...SO let's talk about what has FINALLY started working for me. 

    I've mentioned in the past about my "winter freak out" when it comes to my skin, ut this past winter was legit my BEST winter for skin in YEARS. As a result Spring was my freak out this year.  At a time of year I want to go lighter on my makeup application, I was pretty down about this. I continue to stand behind my post about natural skin care, because once again... this seems to be what is working. 

    I've gone UBER basic, and am amped to share what I've been doing. One thing I was doing wrong was OVER cleansing. I was stripping my skin, and that has drastically changed. What I'm sharing today is my VERY basic routine I've stuck to, I'm leaving out what I use for added moisture, exfoliating, fine lines and acne (for now).So this is actually JUST my evening routine as of right now, I will probably post a morning routine IMMEDIATELY after, simply because I get wordy and this could be a crazy long post otherwise.. 

    I use grape seed oil to remove all my makeup ( If I'm wearing any). I've been using oils for eye makeup removal for years. Grape seed oil is used for a few different parts of my routine, all for different reasons. I use it for makeup removal because it's light, and preps my skin better for my next step in my routine. I haven't actually bought it myself in a while. My husband picked my last bottle, and did it at Superstore. When it comes time to replace though, I'll likely shop local (if you haven't read ANY other post I've done, I always prefer to support a local business). 

So my next step is my actual cleansing, and is a step I've shared in a previous post, however in THAT routine, it was more of a nourishing thing. In this case it's what I used to cleanse and nourish at the very same time (because I love multi purpose products). That's my good friend Manuka Honey. When I was doing my research on cleansing using honey, they only specified "raw" honey. Since I was already using raw manuka, as a nightly mask, I simply dropped the step of using a cleanser. I've been a little wasteful with my manuka lately, basically when I cleansed before, there was still a little water on my face to help spread the honey, which is actually quite thick. Without that step, it hasn't gone on as smooth, and I've used a LOT more of it on my face. This being said, I've started to warm it up in my hands a little more, which has helped, but I started adding a couple drops of water to help it too.... I've heard of people adding oil, but I can't speak from experience. Like I did before I leave the honey on my face for 5-20 min and then just rinse off, and manka comes off easily with warm water. 

This is where I would tone my skin, which consists of me grabbing a cotton pad, soaking it in water, and adding a splash of apple cider vinegar. I have only experienced good things with my skin with apple cider vinegar. to use it as a toner you NEED to dilute it because it would be too harsh on your skin otherwise, but in my experience, it balances out that ph level nicely.

The next step is back to Grape seed oil. I message it into my face and give it time to absorb. This is my moisturizer and treats my skin as well. This is a good oil for acne, which has been an issue for me, and can repair skin damage. 

The final thing I use every night is apricot seed oil. I actually couldn't find this anywhere, but Anne at the Feel Good Store got it in for me. That's apricot oil. It's also light, and gentle, and good for fine lines. 

So that's it... 4 products, and the best results I've seen in a while. Like I said this is my night routine, without any of the add-ons I may require depending on the day. I'll be sure to go and put together my morning routine in just a bit, and perhaps mention my "add-ons". Thanks for reading!

After my trial period, what I think of oil cleansing

    It's been WELL over a month now since I used a product on my face and it broke out REALLY bad! (This was the point of the post where I actually had to go back and look to remember what it was) It was Sibu's daily face wash... and looking back maybe I even had it too long...but I don't rally see me going back to try it out again...

    It's been a journey SINCE then to try and restore my skin. I went to old faithful products, and they weren't even cutting it (again may have had the product too long, or even my skin needed some TLC prior to attacking the problem). Some one suggested to me, oil cleansing, check out previous post for more on that.

   This Friday would make 4 weeks of oil cleansing... and I mean regularly (I have alarms on my phone). While I like oil cleansing, I felt like it left me with more questions than answers. What does that mean? Well I'd use the oil cleansing method and sit there going, ok, now what should I do? For several uses, I just left it at that, and I DO feel like it did some good. It gave a nice glow, to my skin, evened things out, and left my skin looking great... where there wasn't acne (seriously I'm freakin closer to 30 than 20!).

   My final verdict when it comes to Oil cleansing is, I really like what it does for my skin, but it needs to be a player on the team for me, not the captain. I've started a new routine (because it's no winter and I need to figure this crap out AGAIN). I won't go into GREAT detail about it, because I've been doing it for 4 days, however one of my old faithfuls is BACK and making a difference already. Tea tree oil. this is basically my spot treatment, and has reduced some badness already... now if I could stop touching my face it might work faster

Oil cleansing week 1

     My last Blog post was about oil cleansing. I've got one week down, and let's talk about what I've discovered.  Let's just look at the results thus far:

 

                            

     Seeing the two pics side by side is actually see a great difference than I thought. Though my second pic is awful (sorry super tired), my skin looks WAY better! I'd noticed my blemishes had diminished for sure, but even how much THAT has changed is actually blowing me away. I have a better and more even colour to my skin too, I'm actually pretty amped now that I've loaded these together. 

    Ignoring these  pics, I did see an improvement fairly early into the process. I've learned that a phone camera is rather unforgiving, because I was generally discouraged after liking the results in the mirror and snapping a pic. I get why filters exist. 

   I started with a Castor oil, and Jojoba  oil ratio of 50:50. Around Tuesday I discovered how very drying this was. The sad part is EVERY source I'd read warned that 50:50 with Castor ha potential to be super drying...but I didn't listen. I think my ratio is 1 part castor 8 jojoba now...so yeah, BIG difference. As a result of the drying, I did turn to some other products for moisture. One was avocado oil. I'm kind of in love with the stuff, ANY time I have ANY dry skin anywhere, I use avocado oil and I'm good to go. I also used my Kimberly Sayer moisturizer with SPF. While I said I wouldn't use other products while i was adjusting, I clearly needed it, also I don't like not using SPF. Not to mention I DID plan on reintroducing it today anyway, I was one day early. 

    I do plan to continue oil cleansing, because I am pleased with the results thus far. I'm not sure I'll stick with my combination of oils I've selected though, or even the ratio. Jojoba is kind of a safe choice because it's supposed to be good for all skin types, especially for  acne (which is what I'm trying to fix). 

   I've basically wiped the slate clean with my skin care routine and will continue to document it as I introduce new products to it :) 

Challenge Accepted!

     Challenge accepted! This was a status post I did on Friday Night. So I've posted a bajillion posts...out of my whole like what 42 posts... about skin care. Full disclosure, the last several weeks I've been struggling with my skin care routine. I've been broken out, and my old faithful, hasn't been faithful at all. My blemishes have stuck around and seemed to have gotten irritated because a good portion of my face has been red. I had the odd pimple in High school... so I guess this is my time for the bad skin... I suppose I should be thankful, I was a pretty awkward teen, maybe I couldn't have taken that too.


     So I was talking to a friend of mine who has beautiful skin and she mentioned that she does oil cleansing. Oil cleansing is something I'm familiar with, and have done it a couple times...it's not bad... it's typically been my go to when I've been planning to do a detox bath or when I'm super lazy and don't want to have to do a complete skin routine at night. It IS something I'd thought about doing all the time, but I found it actually dried out my skin at one point...yes... oil can be drying. With the info I have I decided to do something rather drastic..I've walked away from EVERY product I was using, and am starting 100% fresh... starting with oil cleansing, and slowly reintroducing my skin to other products so I can be certain that I'm using just the right routine for me. I actually started doing this Friday night, and yes I took a before pic.

This is Friday night, blotchy and inflamed skin. I've been using oil cleansing all weekend, and actually have already had to tweak it, because of drying. Castor oil is my "Carrier oil" and that's what is doing the drying. The other oil I chose was jojoba oil, because it's supposed to be good for acne, and well that' my big issue at the moment. I started with a 50/50 mix, worked well for about a day and a half, and then I noticed I was getting dry, so I switched to 1/3 castor and 2/3 jojoba, we'll see how this goes, but I will share my progress, and will need to give my skin at least 2 weeks to adapt. Wish me luck! 

Toner review

    Ok so I'm a little late on the draw with my new review post, but here it is. I'm still trying to get my skin back to normal as a result of the face was I was using, I've gone back to a face wash I know works for me, and will ABSOLUTELY do a review on it at some point, but I'm trying to kind of go step by step with my skin care routine, and though I'm officially not using my pumpkin soap on my face anymore, I'm still using it ( I was in the feel good store today to buy more), and if you have dry skin, I'm still recommending it.

    No today I'm going to talk about toner. Specifically Thayers Rose Petal Witch Hazel.

 This one again I recommend for drier skin, it's being phased out as my skin is getting more oily. I have dry skin in the winter, and combo-oily in the spring/summer... things get confusing.


     Ok so this is actually a cult classic product, tons of people use it, tons of people love it. Before I even made the switch to natural products, I knew about this bad boy. I personally think it's worth the hype. Let me stress, this is NOT and astringent! That may sound like a dumb thing to say, but for years I thought toners and astringents were the same thing, as a result, I'm utterly horrified at the thought of using an astringent on my face...I was actually super hesitant to use my "Summer toner" as a result (but that is for another post).

    Let's start with the price point, and where I got it.  I purchased my bottle for $14 at the Corn Crib and it lasts SO long. Toners are meant to even out your skin tone, and this does that, while it moisturize, and treats with aloe, and vitamin e. Also the rose petals are what makes it better for sensitive skin too. I also like to use a mask at night, and it's good to take off the residue I may have missed. Another thing toners tend to do is reduce the visibility of pores, and I did see a difference with this product (and am actually getting my friend started using this very product, tomorrow).

Review Sibu Sea Buckthorn Balancing Facial Wash

     Ok, so my review on this product is coming early! I mentioned, I've got a few different cleansers I'm looking to use up, and would give you reviews on them. I also said I was going to wait until I think next week to review this one...but since I won't be using it anymore...why not now?

     The product I'm reviewing is Sibu  Sea Buckthorn Balancing facial cleanser.

     I really wanted to like this product. I've seen positive reviews for it online, I have other products in their line that I REALLY like, and on paper, it should've been a match made in heaven where it's a BALANCING cleanser...but alas not the case. 

   When I started using it, I liked that it had a gentle exfoliating component, and it DID brighten my complexion...However my skin has now reached THIS point...

     To be fair, if anything was going to breakout, it would TOTALLY be my forehead... it's an accomplishment when it's completely clear...but my chin, not so much and my cheeks? NEVER! So I didn't make it through the 2 weeks... I came close, but no...it's not doing anything for me, my face was WAY clearer before using it and I'm pretty unhappy with my personal results. Like I said, it has positive  ratings online, and facial cleansers aren't one size fits all...this one just doesn't fit me. 

Review on Manuka Honey as a face Mask

     It was less than 2 months ago I did my skin care routine post, and I've changed it again. I'm happy to say I'm into my SPRING routine now. As a result I went through my cabinets and started to clear out expired products, and products that I need to use up. I have this habit of wanting to try out new products, and  end up with partial bottles. I have some I'm worse with than others, but I have a little collection. For example, I have 3 Face washes I need to use up...Will they all get finished prior to expiration? I 'm not sure... But I am currently using one, and I'll give you the review on it next week (when I've been using it  for 2 weeks and can give a fair review). I'm also sticking to these quite close because I have another one I want to buy....of course. I'll do a post soon on my Spring routine, because it's fun...to post it not the routine... well...parts are fun I suppose...

    So this is actually a review on a product I've been using for a while and have mentioned on more than one occasion, Manuka Honey!

 

     This has become an every day thing in my routine. I bought this Jar for around $22 at the Corn Crib, and it was around $22. I'm still on my first jar, I got it around Christmas. If you wanted to try it before committing to the WHOLE Jar, The Corn crib actually sells single serve packets for less than $2. I bought a box, of those, for making tea on the go, or if I go away for a weekend or something, keeps me from having to take the whole jar.

     And yes, this appears in my every day skin care routine, and I use it as a mask. I talk about my favorite youtuber a lot, and that's once again where I heard about it from. So when I heard about Makua Honey as a face mask I started to look into it more. Manuka Honey is supposed to be good for anti-aging, acne, and for nourishing your skin. When I first heard all these claims, I had dry, broken out skin, so I thought I'd give it a shot. I put it on as a mask, and let it sit 20 min before washing it off. It's thicker than most honey I've consumed, and it IS sticky but washes of pretty easily, I find it easy to get off if you use warm water. It shrunk my pimples, and returned moisture to my skin. I've also noticed that some of my lines on my face aren't NEARLY as noticeable. I the winter, I feel like it REALLY helped my dry skin issue. 

    I'm getting to the bottom of my jar, and will likely repurchase, my biggest downside is my dog wants to lick it, and I have to keep her away from my face for 20 min!

Stop Treating Women This Way!

     I was recently watch a video from my favorite youtuber, about a couple of experiences she had. One happened to her friend, who had a man buying her drinks and felt he had the right to force himself upon her. The other was about her own experience being called beautiful, and thanking the person, and the person got mad because she didn't stop to talk to him, because she had somewhere else to be.


     I remember when I was a teenager, and my friends and I thought it was great when a guy would drive by us and honk...I'm 28 now, and things have changed. We live in a world, where terrible things happen, and unfortunately females in particular, typically can't let their guard down, for safety reasons. So if you're walking down the street and some one starts shouting at you, tell me how that wouldn't be intimidating. I like being told I'm beautiful...by my husband... and that's about it. I don't want to hear it being thrown out at me, when I'm walking down the street and headed somewhere.

    I personally think my fave youtuber was far kinder than I was, with my situation last week. I was on my supper from work, and was rushing down to Heroes Beacon, because I collect Walking Dead action figures (true story). So I'm walking down the street and a guy shouts at me "Most Beautiful girl in the world". This was enough to irritate me, but I said nothing and kept walking. He continued, "What, you're not going to stop"? "No". This for some reason was weird to him, "I paid you a compliment". "And"? There was some muttering as I kept walking, I didn't pay much attention, but that was enough to piss me RIGHT off. As I got my action figures, I was still stewing, and had to go back the same way... and basically prepared myself to deal with this guy again. Fortunately, he wasn't there, but I got honked at. I was ready to flip, until I saw my friend waving at me from his car, my whole demeanor changed as I waved back (BTW good timing Josh).

     Telling a girls she's beautiful, doesn't mean she owes you something. Maybe I could have been more polite and said thank you, but one says thank you, when one is happy to receive something, and I wasn't happy to be receiving this attention. It can be scary, and I don't feel anyone has the right to make anyone else feel that way.


     I'll admit, I'm probably more jaded by an experience that I had as a younger teen. I was spending an afternoon with two of my girl friends, and we were hanging out at a mall complex, when we ran into some rather large guys we went to school with. One had made it quite clear he was interested in my friend, and she was rather uncomfortable with his advances. It was at this point, she thought maybe we should leave. So we walked (because we walked everywhere) to a different complex. We ducked into a stationary store (because the existed then). We used to go in there a lot because most of us liked to draw. We were near the back of the store when the boys followed us into the store. This, was pretty scary. Fortunately, the guy at the store let us out the back room and we got away. This is something that has stuck with me... and that's why my guard is up as much as it is.

    I feel like some guys, need to understand, acting like this isn't a compliment, it's disrespectful, and can be intimidating... and if you're cool with intimidating a woman this way...what does it say about you

Product Review Rocky Mountain Pumpkin Soap

     So I'm kind of in love with blogs, I'm not sure if I made this clear or not. I frequent a LOT of them, often, and I check out cloudy apples on Youtube too (seriously my favorite youtuber). In an earlier post I mentioned how that channel sort of launched me into my experiences with  natural skin care. This has been a two year journey for me, that has had a LOT of tweaking and trying out different products and researching reviews ALL the time. It's a labour of love, I adore checking out reviews. With as much as I like reading them I thought...hmm, I should write some. 

     So welcome to my very first product review. I thought since I've featured it TWICE in my blog already, I'd go with the Rocky Mountain Soap Pumpkin Soap! 

     I've talked about this in both my skin care and my eczema post. So I bought this for my soap for the Winter months, I have eczema and needed a moisturizing soap, because using a product that dries, is ASKING for trouble in the winter. Originally I bought this and the avocado soap for my face... the avocado was too drying for my face (but my husband, who has oily skin, really likes it). That's when I noticed the packaging of this soap said face/body. So I gave it a shot... little different to basically suds up using one product from temple to toes (because I still used shampoo for my hair... get it?), but I kind of liked the one product for all concept. On my body, I LOVE this stuff, doesn't dry me out, and I fee legit clean after using it. I DO like it on my face, again, feels clean, but if you're a "I wash my face and I'm done" person, I'm not sure I'd suggest this product. I'm not... I probably have more steps than I could ever want, and as a result I like this for the face too. This being said, my skin is weird and I likely won't use it in the summer. In the winter my skin goes hormonal and dry, in the summer, it's combo-oily, and this is not going to work when I hit that phase. However I will repurchase. I'll continue to use it for my soap in the shower, and PS the price is SO right. I don't remember the EXACT amount, it was around $7 I think, and I got it at the Feel Good Store..because if you haven't guessed, I love that store... thought I'd mention, they haven't asked me to say that, I legit love it. So that's my review of the Pumpkin soap, I'm not considering what product I'll review next :D!  

My Eczema's best Winter EVER!

     So I recently did a blog on my skin care routine... and I believe it said current, for a reason. A recent change in temperature has resulted in me changing it up a little, and I'll likely do another post on that in the future. However this post is all about the BEST Winter I EVER had with eczema.


    So I, like most people with eczema, have terrible skin in the winter. In previous years I've had HUGE red, scaly patches on my skin, I'm assuming many can relate. I tried some new stuff this year and it made ALL the difference. I have some small dry patches but not many. So what did I do different this year? Product change up.

    In my post about my face care routine I may or may not have mentioned that not only do I use the rocky mountain pumpkin soap for my face, but my body ( I kind of love when products can do double duty). When I bought it, I was actually buying it because it was a hydrating soap and my skin was just starting to get dry, it was a happy accident when I discovered it worked well for my face too.

     

     I've had a major issue with my skin being super dry, and then over moisturizing, then my skin gets super itchy and I end up clawing myself and irritating my skin to the point it's bleeding, weeping and painful. This soap if for exceptionally dry skin, I definitely still moisturize, after but my skin isn't desperately thirsty as as result. 

    As SOON as I'm getting out of the shower, before I towel off, I use Oil. I have one oil that is kind of my indulgent oil, and again I got it at the Feel Good Store (yes, I love that store).

Snagged this pic from the Feel Good Store FB page.

    If my skin isn't feeling super dry or sensitive I use this oil, I have the vanilla shake one and it smells awesome. 

    Otherwise I go for a regular oil...I have a little bit of a collection....

     

     ...Or a problem, depends on how you look at it. Where I'm looking for major moisture, I'd either go Avocado, or Coconut (I'm actually out of coconut right now because I use it for several things). THEN I dry off....If I need more moisturizer I use an unscented moisturizer. My absolute FAVORITE is Natures Gate unscented. It is one of the ONLY moisturizers I've never had issue with my skin reacting to. If I happen to have any patches of that dry scaly skin, I use my sibu sea buckthorn oil and it's fantastic. 

     SO as a result, I've had the absolute best winter I ever had as far as my eczema goes. I've started trying to pay closer attention to how my body reacts to different things, and I've seriously noticed  difference in more than one way. So this has worked for me and maybe there are some things in there that can help you find a best method for you

Glad we didn't have social media when Geri Left the Spice Girls...

     So today the news came out that a member of One Direction is leaving the group, and apparently teenage girls a DEVASTATED! 

    I'm sitting here rolling my eyes at seriously OVER DRAMATIC reactions. I'm TRYING to put myself in their shoes, and try and remember an instance that this happened for a band similar when I was a kid and remember, it DID happen. I remember back when Geri Halliwell called it quits with the Spice Girls. Everyone was shocked, but I don't think we were like this...and if we were all I can say is thank god social media wasn't around then. 

     The boy band is such an old formula, it's even been parodied. What's more, there will be MANY more to come, and VERY few to be remembered. Of the boy bands who were relevant when I was a kid, ONE still exists! Then there are those who we remember but are long gone, Nsync, Hanson, I'm talking about you. And of course the ones that you go, "Oh yeah, I forgot about them", 98 degrees, because once upon a time Nick Lachey was known for being in this band with his little brother. Otown....didn't they have a song called Liquid dreams that now as an adult I see as gross and inappropriate considering the age of their fan base. 

     So to the fans who are curled up in a ball crying, this is the circle of life for the boy band. Take joy in knowing One Direction had quite a few hits, and that they lasted 5 years.  It really is all downhill from here, but they will still bring you joy when you're older and take out and dust off your 1D cd's and giggle....assuming you actually bought their cd's. I speak from experience....

Waking from Hibernation

     Hello Spring... LOL according to the calendar anyway. Today is technically the first day of spring, after 7:00pm...so first...evening... I dunno. The Snow is still very much there, and I feel like Mother Nature is like, took, I put the sun out and put the temp above freezing...for now. I know seems super pessimistic, and after my post about positivity  too.  I'm getting to the positive twist, I'm just being honest here.

     Snow or no snow, I'm embracing spring. I've started into that clutter accumulated in the winter months, and today's grocery trip was reflective of spring. I'm also fighting. How is this positive? The last 2 winters it's become apparent to me, I shut down after December. I don't know if this is something everyone does, or if I have the winter blues, but I shut down. I don't want to do anything, and pretty well isolate myself from people in my life. I got text messages from the two people I text with the most asking me if I was ok. Coming from those two kind of made me more aware of it, and I have made an actual effort to try and not be so closed off.  If you've felt shunned from me, believe me I haven't meant to make you feel that way, I still heart you bunches, I just get like this. I hope there are no hurt feelings.

    So you see why I'm eager to let spring in. When Spring comes, I realize the wall I built around me, and work to try and repair potentially damaged relationships. People who are in my life, I want there, and I don't want any of them to feel like I don't.

    So Spring, happy to see you, lets take my life back!