Look What I Found!

         I woke up this morning, and it was a 3 coffees before noon type of day. I woke up tired, grumpy, and needed all of the help I could get. On top of all of this, of course we're still working on the skunking. We have the living room and Jake's room done, as well as a ton of laundry (because yes EVERYTHING needs to be washed). Also the dog is acting out lately, so that's fun too, trying to get to the bottom of that. By the time this evening rolled around, I was kind of a mess, like last time I was feeling this down, I was dealing with Baby Blues. 

         There are a few things I do that I know will cheer me up, and one thing is going to Michael's especially this time of year. I love checking out all of the fall stuff, and the last time I was there the Halloween stuff wasn't out, so it was cool to see that stuff. This year seems to be the year of the Witch themed decor. 

         Then there is of course my PERSONAL highlight, the stuff I was waiting a couple more weeks for, but has started to creep in. The Christmas stuff. Just a few ribbons, and wreath parts, but enough to brighten my evening. 1 month and 16 days until my Christmas blog series starts! 

       K, Luv Ya, Bye

        Nancy 

The Great Skunking of 2018

         

         
         Thanks for tuning stopping by, and hearing the story of the great skunking of 2018...yup, you read that right...skunking. So, Friday night, as I was doing a feed with Jake, Cale took Alice out, and all I heard was him shout, ALICE, GET BACK HERE! Well this post isn't called the NEAR skunking of 2018, so guess what happened. Well it was dark, late, and we had no option, Alice HAD to come in the house. As a result, our house got skunked too, and we're currently in the midst of let's say repair.

         Let me start by saying, there are a couple positives here.

#1, Alice is ok. When your dog gets skunked, you are online reading a LOT of crap, and it could have been MUCH more serious. If it had gotten her really bad in her eyes, or her mouth, or just in general, it would have had to be a trip to the vet. That stuff can be toxic to dogs, and burn them, and it COULD have had rabies, so the trip COULD have been one way. Alice has been pretty upset with us in the last 24 hours, because she hates baths, and has had SEVERAL, and been confined, which can get her very anxious too (a bad situation in her past I expect).

#2, Cale is on Vacation...I suppose it depends on who you talk to about that one, but I would be going crazy if he weren't here helping, either with cleaning or with Jake.

#3 We're doing a MASSIVE clean because we have no choice. I'm happy things are getting this clean, and odds are we would be sitting around watching netflix if we didn't HAVE to wash literally our whole house.

        I haven't cleaned like this since I was nesting, I'm just physically more capable than I was then.

        K, Luv Ya, Bye

         Nancy

Post 200

       

         I have officially hit 200 posts on this blog. Back when I started it, I had been sitting in the radio studio, stewing that they were after me to write a new blog post. The thing was, I really didn't want to. When I went on air, I had to think, will my listeners care about this? When I started my old blog, I started it for ME, and had been encouraged to use it and have my listeners read it, but it really stopped being mine, because they asked me to write about celebrity crap, honestly stuff I couldn't give two craps about. SO that blog died...which was unfortunate because it was also home to my anti-bully blog series, which I VERY MUCH cared about. So I started this blog, I called it Unclouded Spirit because I was trying to eliminate a lot of negativity from my life, and believe me, back then there was A LOT. I wanted to write for me, about things I cared about, stuff that my "listeners wouldn't care about". It's funny that was said because I post this blog on what was my radio fan page, and I get traffic from former listeners...maybe they do care...

          Anyway, lets get off the darker origins of my blog and onto the positive and often therapeutic place it is for me today. I wanted to talk about products and self care things I did or used when I started,but often found myself wondering, who actually cares what I'm posting (see that negativity found it's way in). I left the blog stagnant for a while, because I thought my opinions didn't matter to anyone but me, and who did I think I was posting like this? Then one September day, when I would typically start all my Christmas planning, I decided to do it all with my blog too. Because who did I think I was? Nancy Freakin Matheson, the Christmas FREAK. And if people didn't want to read, they didn't have to, I was going to do this because I wanted to. After Christmas, the blog went quiet again, because that was really all I thought I had to offer. There was the odd post between those two Christmases (is that the plural for Christmas?), but nothing substantial. I did take what I learned from the first year, polished it up and made for a better one in the second year (year three is getting more polished again, and a little more about kids).

        REALLY regular posts have become a thing for me, more in the last  months or so. Through my pregnancy, I found myself CONSTANTLY looking up stuff about others pregnancy's, mom hacks, things they never thought of for this and that, all these posts. If I agreed with them or not, I was interested, because I like to learn things, even if they're people's opinions, and come up with my own take. This is when I thought, hey, I should do some pregnancy blog posts. That being said, the majority of my pregnancy was during my Christmas posts that I was already pumping out 3 times a week, so I waited until I was done those. Then I posted, and I found them therapeutic. So after Jake was born, there was a gap, but I started mom posts, even though I thought I was doing EVERYTHING wrong, and I was the worlds WORST mom (some times I still feel like that), I was doing it for me. Not to mention I had an epiphany, the blogs I liked ready, or the vlogs I liked watching, the moms weren't trying to appear perfect. In fact, I wouldn't even get all the way through the ones that did try to give that vibe. Which gave me a greater epiphany, I don't need to give off the illusion of perfection for my blog. Guess what, there is an imperfect human typing this post right now...as a matter of fact a person who thinks she might be messed up a little, but it's okay, it's all okay.

        It took me a long time to get to 200 posts...I don't expect the next 200 will take as long...

        K, Luv Ya, Bye

        Nancy

One Year Ago

          One year ago today, my life changed forever. This post might give you the odd "tmi" moment, but here it is.

          One year ago today, I had just gotten a new order of ovulation strips (yup, right off the bat). My cycle was so all over the map, I couldn't use a kit, I couldn't time it right, not to mention, have you seen the price of those kits?! Nope I found a place online that sold just basic strips, something like 50 for $30. I had just gotten into my second order of them, and I was getting really frustrated. I had been using these daily some times twice daily for a while, that along with my EVERY morning routine, and EVERY night routine, the supplements, the dietary restrictions I had put on myself, the specific products I would use.

          Here I was, TRYING to time out my ovulation but I had been getting about a weeks worth of positive strips...I was wondering should I be concerned? Or did I have faulty strips? So I took to my typical place, on the what to expect when you're expecting, trying to conceive message board. I explained what happened and waited. Honestly from my experience now, that is the board with the fastest response time. Finally some one replied, and told me to take a pregnancy test. I had easily taken 50+ tests to date, and had seen more negatives than I would care to...so I was pretty jaded when it came to tests at this point, I never let myself get excited...especially since I had it written on the calendar a week later to take one. So I hit up my dollar store stash because lets face it, when you're testing THAT much, you only have the pricier ones if you think you got a positive. I sat on my bathroom floor, prepared to take a picture of the test, and post it with the title "Line eyes" on the message board, and hold my breath until some one replied. I really didn't need to, the line was very clear. Well cheapy passed, let's get out a good one, positive. Finally I grabbed the digital one, YES.

           Cale was waiting in the living room, to start the movie, Dr. Strange, no idea what I was doing. I snuck into our bedroom, and grabbed the box that I had prepared 4 months ago, to tell him, he was going to be a dad. I knew I wouldn't be able to wait to tell him, so I had this ready. If you ask him he will always tell you his reaction was because my timing was awful. Cale said, "are you serious" I told him, I couldn't fake a positive. "Cool, are we going to watch the movie now"?

          Yup, one year ago today, I found out I was going to be a mom. No idea if I would have a boy or girl (eventually I got the feeling, and I was right), no idea what the name would be, and DEFINITELY no sweet clue what he (or she..at the time) would look like. Today, I sit here typing this, tired after another wonderful day of giggles and smiles, cries and coos, listening to the music playing on the baby monitor.

         K, Luv Ya, Bye

          Nancy

       

Taking The Steps to Healthy

       

        In the last 4 months, my priorities have changed. I don't do for me anymore, I do for Jake, and that's why I need to take a long look at how I take care of myself, for my son. We'll get into that a little more later in the post, right now I'm going to get into why my mortality is becoming something that I'm thinking of.

        In just over a month, I will be older than my mom. That is a super weird sentence right, but my mom never saw her 32nd birthday, so there is that. I have found myself just grieving for her lately, not about her being gone, that will never go away, but actually in pain for HER. What she missed, and what she knew she was going to miss, it kills me now because I couldn't imagine not being there for Jake. Not that my mother taking care of herself better would have changed her fate, but it could have for my father.

       In my head my dad was invincible, and STILL he went way earlier than he should have and I feel pain for him, because he's missing his grandson, and he SO wanted to be a grandfather. The health issues that took my father, could potentially get to me, but THOSE I can fight.

      I would like to get away from the grim part of this post at this point, I need to start focusing on taking better care of myself. After my pregnancy the weight dropped off me, but suddenly all the food restrictions were lifted, while exercise ones were implemented. I'm back to my pregnancy weight, which isn't horrible because in my pregnancy, I only gained 15lbs, but it has be saying "enough is enough".

      I don't actually want to focus on the scale though. I only look at it because I'm well over where I should be. I want to be healthier so I can keep up with Jake, and be there  for him when he needs me. The other thing I need to be careful of is how quickly I lose weight because I'm still breastfeeding, and dropping TOO quickly, or not taking in ENOUGH calories, it could seriously harm my supply.

      So I'm taking it slow, with a walk daily with Jake. A little bit of weight training as well. As far as diet goes, I'm focusing on foods that help boost milk supply. These are still healthy foods, they're nutrient dense, and maybe they won't cut the calories as quickly as some other foods, but they're what I need to do, for now.

     So while I feel like this will be more of a personal journey, this post is acting as, well my personal declaration to tackle this, not even for me, for Jake

       K, luv ya, Bye

       Nancy

Unswaddled

       

         Because of my natural love of learning, I honestly feel like I have learned as much from my personal research as I did when I was in School. That being said there was one thing I knew NOTHING about before I had Jake, and that's the startle reflex...apparently babies have a feeling that they're falling when their born. This made for a couple of sleepless nights in the beginning, until our friend saved us (thank you Carina), and gave us the Halo swaddle. With the help of the swaddle, we have had some blissfully sleep filled nights. I won't say he NEVER wakes up, but it's beyond under control. The thing is, when your baby is starting to roll over, you can't keep those little arms pulled down. Welp, as I watched little man on his first nap today, guess who was nearly flat on his face. I realized we were getting close, because while he's on his back he's wiggling around enough to be up against the side of the pack n play in the morning. SO, the nap he's into now, is the first time he has had his arms out since one of his first nights home.

          The upside? According to my research, we're about at the age when the startle reflex is supposed to wrap up, here's hoping. Little man is growing up so fast! Wish us luck tonight.


        K, Luv ya, Bye!

        Nancy

Getting Jake's Room Ready...again

         

           

           Back during my pregnancy, I assumed that I would need to get more for Jake's room, and didn't intend to have it completely prepared. We had the main stuff, but I knew there would be stuff later and I wouldn't know for sure what it was or how it would work in the room. Well here we are. Jake is 4 months old, and one of the things they tell you is to have your baby sleep in your room to avoid SIDS. Well we've done that, and will continue for another 2 months. That being said, We're about where I wanted to be when he started napping in his crib. We kind of need to as well I'm seeing that now. Jake sleeps really well in a DARK room, and I have done as much as I actually can in our room, but during the day, the sun glares into our room, Jake's room is on the other side of the house, so there is that too. So here is what we're working at.

         #1, Blackout the window. I have darkening shades already, so I just need to get the rod and put it up.

         #2, A bookshelf. Needs to be narrow enough to fit between the door and the closet, be a decent size, but not TOO tall. I found what I was looking for at Home Depot. It's 4 shelves, so decent storage for his books and stuff. Not too tall so I can put the sound machine on top and use the light projector still. 

         # 3, Figure out how to set up the monitor. I have a video monitor, as do a LOT of my friends, but they all seemed to have a smaller model that looked easier to mount...my tendency is to look for something harder than it is, and that's what I did again...because that was easy. All I need to do is tap a nail into the wall, the monitor has a hanging hole in the bottom. 

         #4, Hang the stuff on his wall...pretty self explanatory.

        We have a couple other projects on the go too, but this one is priority #1. In the mean time, we've also been FINALLY getting around to sorting out the basement, and have a yard sale day set for our deadline. Then project #3...but let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

        K, Luv Ya, Bye

       Nancy 

Fall Has Arrived!

        Let the excitement begin. SO, I enjoy some aspects of Summer. I like how nice the weather is, and there is a sense of freedom to it. However, Summer is likely my LEAST favorite of the seasons...the bugs at night, the heat at day...and worse at night, and the far less forgiving clothes (I said it). Spring brings you new hope when you're tired of the Winter. Winter, of course is has Christmas for me, not to mention I love snuggling up in warm layers. And then there is my 100% favorite season, Fall. I love the colours, the cooler weather, and I love decorating for it. 

       

         Today we went into Michael's. I have basically 2 stores I love to wander around, one in a little more solitude, but Michael's can be fun for the whole family, Cale usually finds something, Jake loves the flower isles, and I love...everything. So imagine my excitement when I spotted the fall decor has appeared in the store. My mind is going crazy with ideas, and I can't WAIT to get started. I need to start my planning and lists, because that's what I do. While Jake has made it so I need to live in the moment more, my summer is usually me living in anticipation for Fall, and the glimpse of it is here! The Halloween stuff isn't there yet, but my next highlight will likely arrive next month...but I won't speak it's name...yet

K, Luv Ya, Bye

Nancy 

A Tinge of Missing it

     

         So today it happened. After Jake was born, I heard I would have "phantom kicks", or miss being pregnant. I can't stress how happy I was that they admitted me almost 2 weeks early to have Jake, I was OVER being pregnant, so I doubted that VERY much. Phantom kicks, didn't happen. I was totally okay with being rid of the pregnancy part, until today.

         Well today I saw some one posting online about their pregnancy, asking when people felt kicks for the first time. I don't really remember the FIRST kick with Jake, but I remember trying to play with him and getting him to kick, and suddenly, there it was, me ACTUALLY missing pregnancy. Wondering what he would be like, or look like and all the anticipation, I kind of missed it today. I put my hand on my belly and tried to remember what it felt like when Jake would kick it. Believe me, Jake still kicks me, and I MUCH prefer having him in my arms than in my belly, but he's napping right now, so it's hitting me. Missing being pregnant...who knew?

K, Luv Ya, Bye

Nancy 

Holy crap! I'm Human!

         

I'm starting to function as a person again. That sounds like such a weird thing and perhaps should have happened sooner, but here I am. Up until recently my day has SIMPLY revolved around Jake, and I didn't include anything else in my day, when Jake slept, I became a lump. I credit this to the fact that we took a while to nail feeding, and sleeping, and I've been enjoying that being successful now for a bit...so I needed to become human again. Becoming human to me, is being productive.

         Being productive had become lost on me through most of my pregnancy. I really had a hard time functioning outside of work, when I stopped working and went on leave, that's when I became productive again, and of course that was short lived because, well, Jake was born. I attempted to be productive in the beginning, Jake slept A LOT, but then I was still in recovery so it took a lot out of me. Jake now feeds well, sleeps well and I don't need to be a lump anymore.

        I tend to be a list maker, and have things well laid out to motivate me. The issue being, you can't make a strict schedule with a baby. So instead of a daily routine with rigid times, I broke my day down to cycles. IE, wake/feed, my breakfast and get dressed, play time, and nap. That's the first cycle of the day, I don't stick to ridged times, but know what things I need to do at specific points of the day.

       I like this because I am not simply Jake's mom (though I LOVE that I am), I am a person again. It sounds weird to say for such a small thing, but it's been liberating.

K, Luv Ya, Bye

Nancy