Mom-Shaming

       

For years, I was afraid to have a child, because I was worried I would screw one little thing up, and lose my child. It comes off as that easy, or at least it did to me. I had a situation with Jake about two weeks ago, where I was on the phone because he'd gotten too much tylenol, because I was overwhelmed and misread the dosage. In my mind, that was it, I was the worst mom ever. In fact, the woman on the line after getting all the details told me step one, was to not be so hard on myself. It was a jolt, I'm a mom, but I'm human, and I will make mistakes. Jake was fine, it was only a little too much, and there will be things to happen over the years that will make me feel awful, and partially because they will, accidentally, be my fault.


          So why am I so hard on myself? Because other people are. I'm talking about Mom-Shaming. Now, I have a support system in place, and these are not typically the cause of me second guessing...not that they never are, because undermining or questioning things I do, put that uncertainty in my head. I promise, 90% of the things I do for Jake I do a vast amount of research for first, and look at different angles, and figure out what works best for us. I've come to realize, no one knows my kid better than I do (Cale is a close second).


         I think it's safe to say that a MAJOR portion of stress for a mom is coming from Mom-Shaming, if it's directed at you or not, it can affect you. It can also make women very defensive. I posted on a group chat I'm part of about my breast feeding early on, and how it wasn't going well. I'm not sure if it was shaming or defensiveness, but I had a woman FREAK, and drag me over the coals because she thought I was bashing formula feeding. I'd like to be very clear on my stance on things. I do not assume I know better than anyone else how to parent, I assume I know better than anyone else how to parent MY son, but that's as far as that goes. I also don't think there is any "One Size Fits All" approach to raising a child. IE I breastfeed Jake, but if we had a second, I don't know I would again. When I do my breastfeeding post I will go into greater detail.

       What this all boils down to, I'm shaming Mom-Shaming.  Moms, you may not agree with my methods, I might not agree with yours, but we're all just doing our best. Unless a mother is doing something that is actually HARMING a child, who are any of us to judge? We're all trying to keep our heads above water, let's not tie weights to each other's ankles.

K, Luv Ya, Bye

Nancy