Accepting Christmas as an Adult

   
I'm sitting here about an hour before Christmas, and finally feeling it. I love Christmas, ask anyone who knows me. But the last two years, I've had a hard time feeling it. I'll chalk a good portion of it up to losing my father. It was 3 years ago I did, but the first year, I think it was maybe too close to Christmas for it to have actually set in.

     As a child, Christmas basically revolved around dad, he was the big present I bought every year, and he was the one I gave a Christmas list to every year. I was 25 3 years ago, so I was an adult, but up until that point, I had dad, so I was still able to face Christmas as a child. Without my dad, I have no choice, I have to face it as an adult.

     Up until just a few days ago, I was quite down about this holiday season, until I got the words of wisdom from my Uncle (he does this a lot). He told me I needed to take a step back and count my blessings, and let me tell you, I have plenty of them, he also reminded me it's all what I make it . So this was a good start. Then I took another step back and asked myself, what Christmas meant to me. The answer is love. That's the whole thing right? What you believe or don't believe, that's what the entire holiday is about right? I look at the Christmas cards I've received, they're love. I look under my tree, and see the exchange of love. The memories, that some times make me cry, are happy ones, and full of love.


     I remember as a kid, when we didn't have a white Christmas, it got me down. We are without a doubt not going to have a White one this year. But then I watched Rudolph, and yes, Rudolph helped me through this. I'm not sure if you remember how Santa said in the movie, that they were going to have to cancel Christmas because of the weather. Even as a kid, I used to think, Santa, you just work here, you can't cancel Christmas. If Santa, who is the mega mascot of the season doesn't have that power, why should the weather.

     So as I type this, now, 15 min before Christmas, I'm in the Christmas spirit. I've stopped and found all the ways I'm absolutely blessed. This and my husband, my dog and I have done things to enjoy our Christmas eve this evening. I'm feeling the Christmas spirit, and I'm happy, without all the requirements I had as a child. I'm here, as an adult, enjoying this evening with my heart. I'm not sure what tomorrow will have for us, but wanted to take the time to write this blog this evening, to share (as late as it has been) to share what I've happily accepted this year, and of course to wish you and your loved ones a Merry Christmas